God desires for you to have daily evidence of your Salvation. He desires us to know it in our heart, our soul and our strength. His desire is that you live each day as a devoted follower of Jesus Christ. We can see how this is possible at church, even though church can become a distraction to following Jesus Christ. After all, we sing songs about Jesus and we pretend to listen to sermons about Jesus.But what about in the parking lot, on Monday morning, when the pressures and stresses of life start to bombard us? How does Jesus relate to real life? This is where discipline comes into our Christian walk. We must discipline ourselves to bring Jesus Christ into every situation we face. In fact, we must discipline ourselves to view every situation from the Gospel perspective.
Paul said: I decided to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 1 Corinthians 2:2
Do You Have Stress in Your Life?
Why? Jesus promised us rest…
Matthew 11:28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
The writer of Hebrews says there is a promise of entering God’s rest, but bemoaned the fact that not every Christian enters…
Hebrews 4:1-2 Therefore, while the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us fear lest any of you should seem to have failed to reach it. For good news came to us just as to them, but the message they heard did not benefit them, because they were not united by faith with those who listened.
These were not heathen Gentiles. These were faithful Jews, God’s chosen. They had seen His Salvation at the Red Sea. They had covenanted with Moses to follow the Lord. But something happened, and they were overthrown in the wilderness by their stresses.
I believe the Gospel has the Power of Rest for Stressed Christians.
In Paul’s day, being a Christian meant being a disciple. It meant giving everything up. It meant losing family, friends, and possessions. It meant the threat of losing your life. We have lost that perspective in Culturally Christian Bible Belt America.
The Gospel has power for our lives, but it is conditional.
1 Corinthians 15:1-2 Now I would remind you, brothers, of the gospel I preached to you, which you received, in which you stand, and by which you are being saved, if you hold fast to the word I preached to you— unless you believed in vain.
“You are being saved” pictures an ongoing process whereby you are the recipient of God’s salvation. You are the one being acted upon. However, you can block the power of the Gospel by failing to take hold of the Word. Κατέχω (Katecho) does not mean to take hold of something in a casual way. It means to take hold of something as if you were making it your own, (to hold fast, keep secure, keep firm possession of). Like holding on to a bar of gold. You clutch it close to you, you make it yours, and no one is going to pry it from your hands.
Jesus explain the importance of “holding fast” in the parable of the soils and the seeds:
Luke 8:15 As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience.
When you give your life to Jesus knowing that you could lose your life, you take hold of His Word as though your life depends upon it!
If you are not holding fast to the Gospel, the chances are that your belief in Christ had a selfish motivation, and was for your personal benefit, and not because you needed Jesus, and needed His life to be yours. If you have not been holding fast to the Gospel of Christ, if you have failed to make it your life, perhaps you should “examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith.”
2 Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!
Stress – What is it?
Dr. Nick Hall (expert in psychobiology) conducts a seminar called “Stress and Disease” He gives a humorous example of one coping skill for dealing with job stress.
When you have had one of those TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT days, try this. On your way home after work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the section where they have thermometers. You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer made by *Q-Tip. Be very sure that you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes, and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed during your therapy. Change to very comfortable clothing, such as a sweat suit and lie down on your bed. Open the package containing the thermometer and remove the thermometer and carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken.Take the written material that accompanies the thermometer and as you read it you will notice in small print the statement that “every rectal thermometer made by Q-Tip is PERSONALLY tested.” Now close your eyes and say out loud five times, ‘I am so glad that I do not work in quality control at the Q-Tip Company.’
Practical Definition of Stress.
The basic definition of “stress” is any opposing reaction or force to your own intention that causes strain or tension. Similarly (but not the same), the definition of a problem is an opposing intention or force of some kind. Problems can be solved. A problem does not necessarily cause stress or tension. The main characteristic of a problem that becomes stressful is feeling like we cannot do anything about it. Not all problems are stressful when we feel that we can do something about them, no matter how much or how little.
The full definition of stress is “a problem (or set of problems) that we do not feel that we can solve or do something effective to handle.”
In other words, you could say “I don’t feel like I can do anything about this problem” or “I feel stressed” and it would mean the same thing. Take anything in your life that feels stressful to you. Apply this definition to it and see if it fits. Is it something you do not have a real solution for? Let’s look at it another way. Do you feel stressed by situations or problems that you have a good solution for? Probably not!
Stress and Children – Causes
- being away from home (ages 5 to 7)
- fear of wetting themselves (ages 5 to 7)
- worry about getting along with peers
- worry about school work
- fear of being chosen last on any team
- fear of being different from others
- worry about changing bodies (ages 10 to 12)
Other major sources of stress:
- divorce of parents
- move to new town or city
- being held back in school
- serious illness
- parent being called to war
Signs and Symptoms of Child Stress
- Physical—headaches, stomach aches, vomiting, wetting
- Emotional—fear, irritability, sadness
- Behavioral—crying, nervous tics, losing temper
- Interactions with others—withdrawing, teasing or bullying, extreme
Stress and Teens
The pressure of expectations from self and from others- The pressure at school from teachers, coaches,
- The pressures due to grades and homework
- Strained relationship with classmates
- Strained relationship with parents/siblings
- Physical and biological changes in the body during adolescence
- Negative feelings about oneself/low self-esteem
- Heated arguments with or between parents
- Financial problems in the family
- Tragedy in the family (e.g. death, divorce, cancer, AIDS)
- Break up with boyfriend/girlfriend
- Separation or divorce of parents
- High crime rate in the living environment/neighborhood
- Moving to a new surroundings
- Changing to a new school
- Horrifying societal events like 9/11 terrorist attacks or communal war
- Failing to achieve something desired
Signs and Symptoms of Teen Stress
Signs of teen stress include withdrawal; crying; picking fights; loss of focus and diminishing accomplishment; change in eating or sleeping patterns, particularly loss of appetite and disturbed sleep; moodiness or anger. Extreme stress can lead to thoughts of suicide.
Stress and Adults
Latest Results from the American Psychological Association:
- 32% report extreme stress
- Nearly one in five (17%) reach their highest stress level 15 or more days per month.
- Almost half (48%) say their stress level has risen over the last five years.
- Stress didn’t come as a surprise. Most participants indicated that stress is a natural part of life.
- But the survey shows that participants are suffering physically, emotionally, professionally, and personally as a result of stress.
- Most participants — 82% — say they manage their stress well. But they also admit that stress causes problems with their physical and mental health, relationships, and work.
- More than three out of four participants — 77% — said that within the previous month, they had had physical problems due to stress.
- Those problems included fatigue, headache, upset stomach, muscle tension, change in appetite, teeth grinding, change in sex drive, and feeling dizzy.
- Almost as many participants — 73% — reported stress-related psychological symptoms in the previous month, including irritability, anger, nervousness, lack of energy, and feeling on the verge of tears.
- Stress kept nearly half of participants — 48% — awake at night during the previous month. They reported losing 21 hours of sleep during that month.
- Almost half of participants — 43% — said they had overeaten or eaten unhealthy foods because of stress in the previous month. Candy and chocolate were their most popular comfort foods.
- Two-thirds of smokers said they smoked more when they were stressed, and 17% of drinkers said they drank too much within the previous week because of stress.
- Work: 74%
- Money: 73%
- Workload: 66%
- Children: 64%
- Family responsibilities: 60%
- Health concerns: 55%
- Health problems affecting spouse, partner, or children: 55%
- Health problems affecting parents or other family members: 53%
- Housing costs (e.g. rent or mortgage): 51%
- Intimate relationships: 47%
Stress and Health
- Most participants — 82% — say they manage their stress well. But they also admit that stress causes problems with their physical and mental health, relationships, and work.
- More than three out of four participants — 77% — said that within the previous month, they had had physical problems due to stress.
- Those problems included fatigue, headache, upset stomach, muscle tension, change in appetite, teeth grinding, change in sex drive, and feeling dizzy.
- Almost as many participants — 73% — reported stress-related psychological symptoms in the previous month, including irritability, anger, nervousness, lack of energy, and feeling on the verge of tears.
Losing Sleep, Eating Badly
- Stress kept nearly half of participants — 48% — awake at night during the previous month. They reported losing 21 hours of sleep during that month.
- Almost half of participants — 43% — said they had overeaten or eaten unhealthy foods because of stress in the previous month. Candy and chocolate were their most popular comfort foods.
- Two-thirds of smokers said they smoked more when they were stressed, and 17% of drinkers said they drank too much within the previous week because of stress.
Sources of Stress
- Work: 74%
- Money: 73%
- Workload: 66%
- Children: 64%
- Family responsibilities: 60%
- Health concerns: 55%
- Health problems affecting spouse, partner, or children: 55%
- Health problems affecting parents or other family members: 53%
- Housing costs (e.g. rent or mortgage): 51%
- Intimate relationships: 47%
Biblical Lessons for Dealing With Stress
1. How Did Jesus Handle Stress?
Jesus in Matthew 11 was facing what some would consider “Stressful Problems”
- He went preaching in the cities where his disciples lived.
- John the Baptist sent his disciples to ask if Jesus was the one. Jesus did not give a straight answer, but said, tell John what I have done, and tell him “Blessed are the ones who are not offended in me.”
- The crowd around Jesus did not understand what he said, Jesus said something else harsh, “from the days of John the Baptist until now the Kingdom of heaven has suffered violence, and the violent take it by force.”
- Jesus gets on the crowd for not understanding His message.
- Then he lambasts the cities where he had been preaching and doing miracles, because they had refused to understand His message. He said it would be more tolerable for Sodom on the Day of Judgment than it would be for them.
So at the height of these stresses – of John doubting Him, his followers doubting Him, and the cities where He did miracles doubting Him, Jesus said an amazing thing.
MATT 11:25 – “I thank you Father, Lord of Heaven and Earth, that you have hidden these things for the wise and understanding and revealed them to children; yes, Father, for such was your gracious will. All things have been handed over to me by my Father…
Come unto me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Jesus was facing some stressful situations that would appear beyond His control. He reacted by calling God Lord of heaven and earth, and then thanking God for giving Him babies instead of wise adults to start His church. Then He said, by the way, God has turned over everything to me. I am the boss, and if you doubt me, I lay down this challenge. Lay down your burdens and I promise you rest. But if you want more, you need to study and learn from me, and if you really follow me, your soul will find rest!
Jesus said there are two rests, one promised upon receiving Him, and one discovered as you live your life yoked to Him. The second rest is deeper and more satisfying, effecting your mind, will and emotions. In other words, no matter the problems you are facing, if you face them with the one who handles everything, you will not feel stressed!
2. How Did Paul Handle Stress?
1 Corinthians 2:5 that your faith might not rest in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Paul could see the importance of the Power of God. He desired it so much, that he welcomed stresses, persecutions, hardships, because they gave him the opportunity to know the power of God in the midst of his weaknesses and stresses.
3. How Did God Try to Teach the Wilderness Jews to Deal with Stress?
Early on in their Journey, the Hebrews faced several stressful problems. They came into the wilderness of Shur, which means a foe lying in wait.
שׁוּר shûr (From H7889); a foe (as lying in wait). This set the stage for what was to come in the early months of their travels in the Sinai. Problems were lying in wait for them, and God wanted to teach them how to respond to stressful situations.
Problems always lie in wait. You can go to work like any other day, and discover that you are out of a job. You can go for a routine check up and be told you need some tests. A simple conversation with a friend or family member can end up in a fight and a wall. There may be a call from the police about your child, or worse, your spouse. Problems happen, and depending upon whether we think we can handle it or not, we feel stressed.
This problem was serious. They needed water. Three days had passed, some were suffering dehydration. Livestock was at the point of death. Suddenly a cry goes up, “look there’s water!” Everyone rushes to it, starts to drink, but something is wrong. This is like the water pools in Egypt that develop after the Nile floods. That water brought disease. This was the same ‘bitter’ water. The people grumbled and Moses cried out. He was thirsty too. He was beginning to stress!
Exodus 15:22-26 Then Moses made Israel set out from the Red Sea, and they went into the wilderness of Shur. They went three days in the wilderness and found no water. When they came to Marah, they could not drink the water of Marah because it was bitter; therefore it was named Marah. And the people grumbled against Moses, saying, “What shall we drink?” And he cried to the LORD, and the LORD showed him a log, and he threw it into the water, and the water became sweet. There the LORD made for them a statute and a rule, and there he tested them, saying, “If you will diligently listen to the voice of the LORD your God, and do that which is right in his eyes, and give ear to his commandments and keep all his statutes, I will put none of the diseases on you that I put on the Egyptians, for I am the LORD, your healer.”
A. God Revealed the Power of His Word.
He gave them a statute and rule, that if they diligently listened to the voice of the Lord, and obeyed His commandments, they would never have any disease that the Egyptians had. God revealed a new name-Jehovah Rophe, Our God who heals. He then led them to Elim, where there were 12 springs and 70 palm trees. A veritable oasis in the wilderness.
You can drink bitter water, and it will not make you sick. All you have to do is believe to the point of obeying. Paul said you will be saved (healed), but all you have to do is hold fast to the Word! God always does our problems one better. His power is simply amazing, and He wants us to enjoy it.
The cure for the bitterness of Life is the Healing power of faith in God and His Word. His Word Is The Tree Of Life!
B. God Revealed the Importance of Rest.
In the wilderness of Sin, the people grumbled again because they were hungry.
Exodus 16:4 Then the LORD said to Moses, “Behold, I am about to rain bread from heaven for you, and the people shall go out and gather a day’s portion every day, that I may test them, whether they will walk in my law or not.
God told Moses that He was going to rain manna from heaven and that it was going to be a test of whether the Hebrews would walk in God’s Law. How you say? He only gave them six days of food. They were to rest…the seventh day.
The cure for temporal problems is to look to Heaven and learn to rest in the power of God!
C. God Reveals the Rock of Living Water (He is Always with Us)
Ex 17:1-7 the people grumbled again, and this time took up stones to heave at Moses. God revealed the Rock of Living Water.
The cure for doubts about God’s presence and power in the midst of your problems is to come to the Rock and quench your thirst on His Living Water.
The Samaritan woman lived with the daily stress of being hated by the townspeople. She was a sinful woman, the object of abuse and contempt. Then one afternoon, she met the Rock, the Rock who could give her Living Water. Nothing else mattered. The contempt, her scandalous past, her poor reputation. Here was the Rock greater than all that, who could give her Living Water that would never run dry. She gained her life back. She discovered the Savior for all her mistakes, all her failures and all her hopes.
D. God reveals the Altar of Jehovah Nissi
The Altar of Victory in Life
Exodus 17:8-9 Then Amalek came and fought with Israel at Rephidim. So Moses said to Joshua, “Choose for us men, and go out and fight with Amalek. Tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the staff of God in my hand.”
Amalek always represents the flesh. And the flesh is constantly at war with God and His children. The chosen men still had to fight, had to bleed, had to die, but the victory was dependent upon God.
One aspect of Victory over the flesh is the need of the Altar. The Altar of Life.
Romans 12:1-2 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
The cure for battling the flesh is to die on the altar of the Cross of Christ!
- The Cross is our Banner-Jehovah Nissi. The Cross is our Victory!
Does God Want us to Stress or Rest?
Can a Disciple truly enjoy Rest, even in the midst of stressful situation? God Promises that we can enter into His Rest:
Hebrews 4:1 Therefore, while the promise of entering his rest still stands, let us fear lest any of you should seem to have failed to reach it.
So there is a Rest, but it is not guaranteed. It is something to be desired and attained. The consequence is being overthrown in the wilderness.
Hebrews 4:6-7 Since therefore it remains for some to enter it, and those who formerly received the good news failed to enter because of disobedience, again he appoints a certain day, “Today,” saying through David so long afterward, in the words already quoted, “Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts.”
Hebrews 4:9-11 So then, there remains a Sabbath rest for the people of God, for whoever has entered God’s rest has also rested from his works as God did from his. Let us therefore strive to enter that rest, so that no one may fall by the same sort of disobedience.
- Obey God
- Do not harden your heart
- Strive to enter
- The striving is in regards to this flesh. It has a hard time with the idea of FAITH.
Faith Determines our Stress Level
1 Corinthians 15:2 You are also saved by it, if you hold to the message I proclaimed to you—unless you believed for no purpose. HCSB
Paul says it is a fact that you are being saved (Indicative, Passive). You are the recipient of the action; however, this salvation is conditioned upon you actively holding fast to the Gospel message that Paul preached (Indicative, Present). You must do the holding. Otherwise, your belief was in vain, (without purpose, or cause).
It is a circle of FAITH. You are being saved by the power of the Gospel, but you must keep holding on to the message of the Gospel in order for that salvation to stay in effect. This world is corrupt, the enemy is too strong. If you try to find salvation in your own strength, or grow apathetic through the hardness of your heart, you will be overcome; you will not know the power of the Gospel.
As Christians, we must keep the message of the Gospel ever before us, in all we encounter. As soon as we turn away, or forget, or act in our flesh, we will be overcome. The Gospel has power for our lives, but we must desire it, we must embrace it, we must hold fast! Salvation is more than a belief. Salvation is life, life that is transformed by the eternal power of the Gospel of Jesus.
What that means is that you will not know the power of this Gospel until you identify with the Death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
The Death, Burial and Resurrection Conquers Stress
You must daily die to what you want, submit your body to God’s design, and then lean entirely upon Christ for victory.
If Salvation is to be continuous and healing, the Gospel is to be applied to our lives every day.
1. His Dead Body opens God’s Reservoir of Love upon our Life
We face a stressful problem, an impossible situation and we cry out: God, how could you let this happen? This is not fair, this is not right! Bitterness enters, distrust becomes rooted, and we begin to doubt God’s Love for us. We start to see Him as vindictive, judgmental. We see the church that way. We see pastors that way.
How does the Death apply to stress?
Stress is when a problem we face seems larger than what we can handle. The Death is something we embrace every day, in every problem. Through Faith, we believe that God’s Love is upon us, because we are in His Son. We die to what we want and say, “God, your plans are my plans. I lay such and such on the altar. You have your will and way.”
-
I am the LORD your God. (Jehovah Elohim)
2. His Buried Body applies God’s Justice upon our life.
Sometimes stress is because things are not right in our life. There may be addictions that we cannot overcome. There may be situations at work that are not right. Our spouse may be causing problems. Our priorities may be wrong. Life is out of balance, and things are stressful.
Jesus dealt with this world. He dealt with Satan. He dealt with the flesh. He enabled God to declare we are justified even when clothed with the flesh. The peace of Jesus Christ is upon us. He overcame Satan through the power of the Word.
We need to embrace what His buried body represents. God is free to apply His justice to your life. No matter the addiction or the backslidden condition of your heart. When you desire God’s justice upon your body, your life, God will start to work that, because He can. His Kingdom Will can be upon your life, because Jesus dealt with the flesh. Your soul is free to pursue the Spirit of God.
When stress is so bad that your health is affected, give your body to God. Realize the need to be a living sacrifice. Your body is buried, but you still live. However, you do not live for yourself, you live to fulfill God’s pleasure and will. If God wants to use your health to further His pleasure, so be it. You body is a living sacrifice. But perhaps God wants you to deal with things that are not right in your life.
Perhaps a broken relationship is causing stress. Perhaps you are dishonoring a spouse or an authority in your life. Perhaps you are dishonoring your body in some way. Set it right, ask God to bring His justice into your life. Then live as a living sacrifice, ever consumed, but ever living.
-
God is Jehovah Rophe-our healer!
3. His Resurrected Body applies God’s Righteousness to our Life.
What happens when you experience God’s steadfast love, have His justice applied to your life, but there is still this war going on, there is still stress? You feel weak, you feel powerless. You want to give up, stop believing that God can do anything.
This is the hardest test of all. This is the time when you try to hold up the Word, you try to cling to God, but your arms fail, you grow weak, and the stress is overwhelming.
You need to realize that God is strongest when we are weakest. Instead of despair, we reach out; we embrace the Victory that is in Christ. Too often, that victory comes only when we lock arms with other Christians. Hoist the Banner of Christ’s Victory at the altar! We look to the banner, but we must join others at the altar. Some stress is so great that you must humble yourself and reach out to the strength of others.
The Victory of Christ is always joined to the Altar. We die, we are buried, and we share in His Victory with others.
During the early stressful days of their wilderness journey, God revealed three names to His people.
At the Very, least we should have Sunday set aside where we rest in the Lord. We give all our problems and stresses to Him. We come to the altar and we lift up the name of Jehovah Nissi
Philippians 4:4-7 Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, Rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
For we who have believed do enter into that rest.
Early in my Christian walk I heard about an old Indian story about the white wolf and black wolf that live in us. The white wolf represents the Spirit of God. The black wolf represents the old sinful nature we were born with. Supposedly, these two are continually fighting with each other for control of our thoughts and actions. The one who wins is the one we feed. It sounds reasonable. Sometime I do feel like a battle is raging within me. It seems to fit with what Paul wrote about the struggle between the Spirit and the flesh:
However, I do not believe this “split personality” concept of struggle against sin is truthful according to God’s word. I believe it is a lie which promotes our self-effort to struggle against sin. This lie perpetuates our “bondage” to sin and the flesh. It actually leads to walking in the “flesh.” This is an element of that “other gospel” that Paul wrote the Galatians about.
In reality, we have died… “For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” (Colossians 3:3) We are a “new creation” in which God Himself dwells. How could God dwell in a “split personality” type situation?
This led Paul to the discovery of a law that all physical men and women live under, the “Law of Sin.” This law of sin is present as long as we have a physical body, for it is inherent in this physical body which will one day be put into the grave. While we have only one nature as far as God sees us, because we have died in Christ, the law of sin is still in force. Our flesh is still under its influence.
The cry of Paul was “who will deliver me” and the answer came from God, “thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Jesus provides the answer, the deliverance, not through our struggle against this law of sin (for we will always lose), but through a NEW LAW which we can live under because we have a NEW NATURE! Our new spiritual nature allows us to live under the “Law of the Spirit of Life!” This new law sets us free from the law of sin. This new law can only be followed by faith, not by self-effort.
If we try to live the Christian life thinking that it is up to us to feed the white wolf, or else we will lose to the black wolf, we will walk in a continual up and down victory and defeat mode of which personality is in charge. We will be frustrated and defeated. We will burn out and feel that following Christ is pointless and powerless. Our faith will never grow. The only way the flesh is freed from the law of sin is not through self-effort, but through submission to God and walking dependant upon the Holy Spirit. That takes a growing faith to see Him in charge. That takes an attitude of rest in Him and the victory He has already won! That requires a trusting in His Word!
So don’t think you must feed the white wolf to keep the black wolf at bay. The black wolf is dead! What you are seeing is a ghost! Let him go and set your mind upon the Holy Spirit. Walk in Him by faith! Don’t let the ghost keep you scared, keep you enslaved. Walk in the freedom of the Holy Spirit, for He sets us free from the law of sin and from those nasty ghosts of wrong teaching!
Loving the Word with the MudPreacher 